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Southern Rail Cancel 341 Services, Surprised At Delays

8/7/2016

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Southern Rail CEO Alvin Hitler has today given a defiant statement to the rail travelling public "You stupid bastards, just give me your fucking money" Mr Hitler started his speech at the National Trainspotter Gala Awards Dinner "This is just the start, by this time next year I will be running just one train service a day and it will cost £12,000 for a single and £24,000 for a return. That's right, no fucking discount you bastards."
Picture
Horrified attendees to the dinner almost choked on their three day old ham sandwiches as Hitler proceeded to remove him trousers and urinate all over a picture of a train.

Fat, speccy virgin Gary Fatspeccyvirgin told our reporter "It was the first time I'd seen a dick in six years, I have to wash mine with a sponge on a rope, which is really hard. Like finding a Renstool 3485864 Diesel south of Lowestoft, haha haha haha" 
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