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Roman Polanksi Arrested For Trying To Fuck Shaker Aamer's Time Spent In Guantanamo Bay

30/10/2015

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Polish police today arrested Roman Polanski after he attempted to have sex with the 13 years Shaker Aamer spent in Guantanamo Bay. Police are bemused as to how Polanski attempted to sleep with a time frame, but the rumours coming out of the Policja is that is something to do with it being 13.
Polanski's lawyers have argued for the troubled directors release on the basis that there is no age of consent for periods of time. Pelan Romanowski, Polanski's lawyer, said "I don't understand the problem here, not only did Roman not have sex with the time period in question, there is no particular law in place for time periods, I mean honestly, for all we know 13 years in terms of time spent in jail could be 26 in human years."

Polanski is calling in Steven Hawking to help argue his case, but this has caused outcry from womens groups everywhere. Dr. Millie Tant of the Viz University said "This is a disgrace on every level, Polanski is an animal, how long until he is prowling the streets after our 13 year old cars, or what about if he tries to sleep with the first Spider-Man film with Tobey Maguire? Where will it all end?"
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