"It's disgusting and pathetic" said elderly Facebook user Arnie Safepension, "When these kids played video games indoors, I could easily walk to my grandsons house to tell him he's gonna make nothing of himself. Now that's he's out having fun and socialising, I'm forced to post my bile of Facebook in the hope he sees it! It's a travesty against humanity!". Mr Safepension has been active on Facebook for the past 3 years consecutively and has amassed an impressive combined score of 1,554,132,123,923 on Bejeweled, but refuses to admit that that is a video because it 'doesn't count because it's on Facebook'.
Pokemon Go has encouraged social play and large gatherings and has 'gamified' exercise to a demographic that traditionally weren't associated with either idea, but embittered people are claiming that exercise, social interaction and fun aren't allowed in an adult world
Stay at home mum Lucy Sprogsmother said "It's just really sad that these people are getting together to enjoy something they enjoy and meet new people. Like, that's really stupid. Why would you ever get together with people and enjoy something you've liked since you were little?" Miss Sprogsmother has her interests on Facebook listed as 'Going to the pub' 'Going to the club' and 'Getting nailed by literally anyone and forcing them to have the kid'. She also hasn't worked a day in her life, lives in the flat of her latest boyfriend and has 5 kids by 7 different dads, somehow.
The game has already taken Nintendo's shares up a staggering 50%, generated over $14 Million in revenue and has trended more than Kony 2012, Donald Trump and Gangnam Style combined.
"It's really childish though" said Dunce Poor-Upbringing, member of the UK Army Infantry, "All these people will get up and play Pokemon in their spare time but they won't look for a job! What a bunch of losers". Dunce was forced to join the UK Army after dropping out of school at 16, failing an apprenticeship, having his parents divorce, end up in prison for stabbing his brother over who gets to fuck his sister and presumably never understanding what love and joy feels like.
In related news, the words 'irony' and 'hypocrisy' continue to be the least understood words in the English language.