The concept of music sadly passed away in the late hours of last night after it was brutally murdered by tubby chat show host James Corden and the worlds most depressing band Coldplay, as they tried to pay tribute to iconic rockstar Prince.
The group and Corden had united to pay tribute to Prince's untimely passing earlier this year with a cover of 'Nothing Compares 2 U'. However, the evening ended in tragedy when Music itself was declared dead shortly after the horrific attack on the worlds collective ears.
The group and Corden had united to pay tribute to Prince's untimely passing earlier this year with a cover of 'Nothing Compares 2 U'. However, the evening ended in tragedy when Music itself was declared dead shortly after the horrific attack on the worlds collective ears.
Coldplay have been known for previous attacks on music, including making multiple albums that have resulted in listeners attempting to kill themselves, not out of depression, but just to make the awful, awful noise go away. Easily punchable frontman Chris Martin introduced Corden on stage at the LA Rose Bowl with reference to his popular 'Car Pool Karaoke' series, which really makes you wonder why God even bothered giving us creativity in the first place.
Sinéad O'Connor, who made the song famous in 1992, famously got into a punch up with Prince after he didn't approve of the cover and her foul language in interviews. After watching the Coldplay/Corden cover, O'Connor said "Jesus fucking Christ, I wish the stupid bastard [Prince] were alive today to knock seven shades of shit out of these boring cunts and that bigger, fatter, unfunnier cunt. They fucking actually killed music, and I'm famously against killing shit. I'm famously against everything, actually. Fuck off trying to interview me, I'm against it!"
Sinéad O'Connor, who made the song famous in 1992, famously got into a punch up with Prince after he didn't approve of the cover and her foul language in interviews. After watching the Coldplay/Corden cover, O'Connor said "Jesus fucking Christ, I wish the stupid bastard [Prince] were alive today to knock seven shades of shit out of these boring cunts and that bigger, fatter, unfunnier cunt. They fucking actually killed music, and I'm famously against killing shit. I'm famously against everything, actually. Fuck off trying to interview me, I'm against it!"
Previous attempts to assassinate the concept of music were made using this very song, by both Madonna and the Dixie Chicks, but it took the utter awfulness of both Coldplay's depressing, monotonous pop music and the painfully talent-less Corden to pummel the last few signs of life out of the already dying art medium.
In related news, the Chainsmokers, known for their shitty song 'Selfie', have another number one hit on their hands this week. They have denied any involvement in the plot to murder music, despite all the evidence.
In related news, the Chainsmokers, known for their shitty song 'Selfie', have another number one hit on their hands this week. They have denied any involvement in the plot to murder music, despite all the evidence.
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