Morbidly Obese Man Screams At Professional Athlete

73 stone Barry Fatman today screamed his disapproval of top level athlete Raheem Sterling's ability to play football, all the while asserting without a hint of irony that he indeed could do better.

"I don't understand what he brings to the side to be honest with you, I could have finished that chance, seriously. What are you laughing at? Well, I played football once at school, but that was only because the canteen was closed."

Barry's long time friend, Mike Hunt told us "Barry always says things like this, just last week he was shouting at Elton John on the telly something about being a semitone flat, and last year he tweeted Renee Zellwegger saying he would date her if she lost a bit of weight. He's a good bloke, but he's fucking deluded sometimes."

When we tried to get in touch with Barry for further comment he didn't answer his door, we could hear him shouting that Ron had messed up the money shot, he could have hit her tits from that distance.