Jeremy Corbyn today attempted to placate the renegade MPs within the Labour party with an offer of a fat blunt and a massive bag of doritos. Sources close to the rebel party members have said that this is "typical of that leftie pinko, but we'll still smoke the shit out of that bowl"
While some news outlets are recording it as Corbyn just blowing smoke and joking around to try and gain some positive traction our paid stalker Jary told us there was a massive plume of smoke outside Corbyn's house this afternoon, as well as fifteen Dominos trucks arriving.
Grateful Dead fan Johnny Deadbeat told our reporter "I think it's Mexican Fanny Juice or maybe it's North Alaskan Iguana Blood, either way it smells like a strong brand. I've been trying to get in all day but Theresa May is watching the door."
When asked if she was indeed at the home of the enemy getting toasted Theresa May replied "The question isn't was I was there, the question is were you there? You talk about the people who smoke weed with their enemies, you talk about people who eat a Meateor pizza from Dominos all to themselves in the kitchen while Jeremy was asleep, you talk about wanking Jeremy off in the bathroom and letting him take me up the arse unprotected on a dirty mattress in his back room, remind you of anyone?"
Grateful Dead fan Johnny Deadbeat told our reporter "I think it's Mexican Fanny Juice or maybe it's North Alaskan Iguana Blood, either way it smells like a strong brand. I've been trying to get in all day but Theresa May is watching the door."
When asked if she was indeed at the home of the enemy getting toasted Theresa May replied "The question isn't was I was there, the question is were you there? You talk about the people who smoke weed with their enemies, you talk about people who eat a Meateor pizza from Dominos all to themselves in the kitchen while Jeremy was asleep, you talk about wanking Jeremy off in the bathroom and letting him take me up the arse unprotected on a dirty mattress in his back room, remind you of anyone?"
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