Major movie studios Warner Brothers, Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios have announced that all their future full-length motion pictures are to be cut down to trailers and released online instead of in cinemas.
Studio heads have realised that there is as much trending potential for a two minute trailer as there is for a full length movie, leading to the three studios to axe all future feature length productions.
This comes mere hours after Sony Pictures released the trailer for Seth Rogan's new movie Sausage Party, which cleverly gives away all the jokes in the trailer.
"Everyone is excited to see Captain America: Civil War this April, but imagine if we didn't even have to bother making it." Head of Marvel Studios Kevin Fiege said in a press release this morning. "You make a movie as best as you can for 8, maybe 9 months of the year. Then you edit it for another few months. You start the promotional cycle and suddenly everybody on the internet can magically decipher exactly what movie you've made just from watching a two minute trailer.
"We went to great lengths to pick the perfect actor to play the new Spider-Man, but a bunch of virgins have been moaning that it's wrong after hearing literally two words out of the kids mouth. It really made us wonder why we bothered sinking millions of dollars and thousands of hours into making these movies."
This comes mere hours after Sony Pictures released the trailer for Seth Rogan's new movie Sausage Party, which cleverly gives away all the jokes in the trailer.
"Everyone is excited to see Captain America: Civil War this April, but imagine if we didn't even have to bother making it." Head of Marvel Studios Kevin Fiege said in a press release this morning. "You make a movie as best as you can for 8, maybe 9 months of the year. Then you edit it for another few months. You start the promotional cycle and suddenly everybody on the internet can magically decipher exactly what movie you've made just from watching a two minute trailer.
"We went to great lengths to pick the perfect actor to play the new Spider-Man, but a bunch of virgins have been moaning that it's wrong after hearing literally two words out of the kids mouth. It really made us wonder why we bothered sinking millions of dollars and thousands of hours into making these movies."
This year, Captain America: Civil War and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice are pegged to be the largest grossing movies of the year, with acclaim and criticism being shone upon them from all corners of the internet, thanks in part to the many trailers that have been released in the films promotional campaigns.
"Here's the thing about Batman V Superman; every time we put a trailer out, these nerds eat it up. And it doesn't even matter if it sucks!" Director Zach Snyder said when addressing the move from Warner Bros, which will begin this year when Batman V Superman is released as a final trailer instead of in cinemas. "I mean, we gave away all of the movies twists and turns in the trailers and people still watch them! Everybody knows that Aquaman is in it, Doomsday is in it and that I still can't direct a superhero movie for toffee! And yet here's the brilliant thing: I managed to buy a yacht with the ad revenue money."
Warner Bros especially are known for releasing multiple trailers online. Since it's announcement at San Diego Comic-Con 2013, Batman V Superman has been steadily releasing teasers and trailers for almost three years.
"And even if the nerds decide they don't want to watch the trailers" Snyder continued "We'll just steal the ad revenue off the critics! That'll show them to use content under fair use and steal views that weren't even ours to being with! Who even are FoulENT? I dunno, but they just bought me a Maccies breakfast with their ad revenue! Thanks, suckers!"
"Here's the thing about Batman V Superman; every time we put a trailer out, these nerds eat it up. And it doesn't even matter if it sucks!" Director Zach Snyder said when addressing the move from Warner Bros, which will begin this year when Batman V Superman is released as a final trailer instead of in cinemas. "I mean, we gave away all of the movies twists and turns in the trailers and people still watch them! Everybody knows that Aquaman is in it, Doomsday is in it and that I still can't direct a superhero movie for toffee! And yet here's the brilliant thing: I managed to buy a yacht with the ad revenue money."
Warner Bros especially are known for releasing multiple trailers online. Since it's announcement at San Diego Comic-Con 2013, Batman V Superman has been steadily releasing teasers and trailers for almost three years.
"And even if the nerds decide they don't want to watch the trailers" Snyder continued "We'll just steal the ad revenue off the critics! That'll show them to use content under fair use and steal views that weren't even ours to being with! Who even are FoulENT? I dunno, but they just bought me a Maccies breakfast with their ad revenue! Thanks, suckers!"
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