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Facebook's New Algorithm Makes Idiots Appear On Your Newsfeed

2/7/2016

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Facebook CEO Mark Gruffalo today confirmed that the new changes to the Facebook algorithm would guarantee that complete fucking idiots would appear at the top of your newsfeed. 

"I've been tweaking it for a while, and no matter what I did there were always fucking idiots at the top. I really can't work out why that is, so in the end I went with the old tech adage, it's not a bug it's a feature that cunts always appear on the top of your newsfeed."
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Facebook user Clara Loosetwat told us "I don't understand what an algorithm is. It doesn't look much different to me, all of my friends are still in the same places. It's either baby pictures or Younique, just the way I like it."

Professor of technology at Tipton Polytechnic Cider Bob said "I can't tell any difference to be honest. I just use it to have a surreptitious wank in between lectures over all of those holiday pictures. Got them bookmarked so I never look at that newsfeed shit. Anyway, fuck off would you I am trying to teach these bastards how to commit massive online fraud without getting caught."
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