"I've been tweaking it for a while, and no matter what I did there were always fucking idiots at the top. I really can't work out why that is, so in the end I went with the old tech adage, it's not a bug it's a feature that cunts always appear on the top of your newsfeed."
Professor of technology at Tipton Polytechnic Cider Bob said "I can't tell any difference to be honest. I just use it to have a surreptitious wank in between lectures over all of those holiday pictures. Got them bookmarked so I never look at that newsfeed shit. Anyway, fuck off would you I am trying to teach these bastards how to commit massive online fraud without getting caught."