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Donald Trump To Build A Firewall Around Cracked.com And Make Them Pay For It

13/8/2016

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Addressing the crowd at his latest conference appearance Donald Trump was on fine form. "I am totally fed up of this constant harassment from the untalented hacks at Cracked.com. Every day I see another article on their website about me. It's as though they are running out of ideas and have to populate their site with bang average junk written by Mexicans. I am going to phone my very good friend Bill Gates and make him put up a firewall around the site and make them pay for it!" 
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Cracked columnist JF Sargent told his empty house afterwards "Hoo boy, this will make a great column for me to write. I've been running out of ideas for the last five years or so. This will really help me get out of that creative hole, all I need now is some talent. Oh and charisma and to be better looking. Please, if there are any women out there read my columns, I'm a feminist, I'm perfect to hook up with. Please."

Trump supporter Bill Hilly told reporters outside the conference "Squeeeeee! We're gonna get ourselves a firewall, and those damn Mexicans at Cracked are gonna pay for it!"
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