Former actor David Schwimmer was today forced to confirm to literally thousands of Facebook journalists that he was indeed alive. Ross from Friends told the assembled internet pranksters "I'm not fucking dead you virgins. I've been alive for years enjoying my money. Something you basement dwelling cunts know nothing about."
The normally mild mannered paleontologist seemed to explode at the mention of his death, possibly because he has been so quiet since he finally got to bang Jennifer Aniston in real life.
The normally mild mannered paleontologist seemed to explode at the mention of his death, possibly because he has been so quiet since he finally got to bang Jennifer Aniston in real life.
Schwimmer has done absolutely nothing since he played Herbert Sobel in Band of Brothers, this as well as the rise of sick humour site Sickipedia lead to numerous reports of his death over the years. Each time Schwimmer remained stoic and silent about the rumours, content in the knowledge that his mansion was huge and although his cock wasn't it had still been inside Rachel from Friends. This all changed at the latest rumours.
Schwimmer wrote on his personal Twitter "I'm glad I hacked Sickipedia, I am the one that killed it. I will hack all of your Facebooks and set your profile picture to a picture of my cock entering Rachel from Friends if you post this shit about me again. Think I'm joking? Who else do you know who can write more than 140 characters on Twitter? I will fuck you up. Oh, watch my new show, it's good."
Schwimmer wrote on his personal Twitter "I'm glad I hacked Sickipedia, I am the one that killed it. I will hack all of your Facebooks and set your profile picture to a picture of my cock entering Rachel from Friends if you post this shit about me again. Think I'm joking? Who else do you know who can write more than 140 characters on Twitter? I will fuck you up. Oh, watch my new show, it's good."
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