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Four Policies The Tories Are Going To Sneak Past You

18/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
It's no secret that I am not a fan of the Conservative government. Specifically David Cameron, Jeremy Hunt and George Osbourne. Oh Theresa May too, I'm all for gender equality when it comes to people being bastards. Here's the thing though, they haven't done fucking with you yet. There's more to come, and here they are. 
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The Jary Files - The Lost Art Of Fingering

17/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

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My favourite quote of all time is:

“Women pretend they like things like a sense of humour and being nice, but really what they like is a selfish cunt who is definitely going to finger their nan at Christmas and use that finger to mix the stuffing.” – Jary, 2015
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It takes an almost surreal level of grandiosity to quote yourself but that’s exactly what I just did. Fortunately, my erratic ramblings about fingerblasting are more profound than anything you will ever say. Nobody cares about what you have to say because you’ve never even fingered one nan, let alone all of them. But there’s a problem: nans. Unless you’re my friend Azza T who is a granddad at 36, most grandparents are bare old. Nans appreciate the art of fingering because in their day fingering was all the rage. You couldn’t get into most clubs unless you were being fingered as you walked in.  These days, kids either kick off with the oral (worst thing you can do mate) or even worse, straight in with the dick.
AMATEURS.
I’m not here to tell you how to shag properly, except I am. Put your dick back in your pants, close your Pornhub window (you’re not fooling anyone) and take some advice from a shagging professional before you disappoint any more women with your inept sexual abilities. Keep the noise down before you wake your mom up, except you won’t because she’s too busy receiving a fingerblasting masterclass (by me).

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Deaf To All But Metal - Recent Bereavement Edition

16/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​It wouldn't be 30 Days of Stuff without a visit to the series that requires literally no research or prior knowledge. It's Deaf To All But Metal, the series where we don't listen to albums but review them anyway. This time around, the cold hand of Death is reaching over this article. You can't spend a minute in 2016 without some famous recording artist dying it seems. So, instead of taking a look at the charts (Which are, for all intents and purposes, a cavalcade of shite at present), we're going to take a look at the final albums for these music stars. A look, but not a listen. You know how this works.
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Gotta Cast Em All - #3: Pokemon Sun and Moon Starters, Region and Release Date!

15/5/2016

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This podcast is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​In this episode of Gotta Cast 'Em All, Mike and Darren revel in the information dump that was the May 10th Pokemon Sun and Moon trailer!
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Are You A Roof Down Wanker?

14/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​There has been some sun in England this week. Almost immediately, dickheads and idiots rushed out of the house dressed in nothing but their best fake Reebok trainers to a beer garden so they can post on Facebook that they’re in a beer garden. Most of these people live in working class, under-privileged towns near to their manual labour jobs so an affordable pub is generally within walking distance. But for the triple-A assholes, there’s always the alternative: taking your convertible vehicle for a drive. These are known in the industry as 'roof down wankers' and you might be one. Here’s how you can find out:
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Friday The 12th - A Neil DeGrasse Tyson Special

13/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
My research for these articles usually consists of me drinking Taurus and tweeting celebrities pictures of my sack, so I was as surprised as anyone when I actually came across something relevant. I found a quote about Friday the 13th while checking my tweets, and the person it came from was fat science Ghandi himself Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
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Maypril Fools: 5 Jokes That Got Out Of Hand

12/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​April Fool passed us by over a month ago. We didn't do anything for it because we don't like to insult our readers by pretending we're doing something incredibly controversial or saddening. We could do that any day with sincerity and do it better than anyone else. Plus, we didn't make anything that literally cost people their jobs. But May is a time to celebrate things that started as jokes but got serious quickly. A bit like this website.
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Hit the jump to read them!

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Popscorn - Captain America: Civil War Review

11/5/2016

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This podcast is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​In this review, Mike and Darren stand united whilst their heroes divide and fall, whilst reviewing Captain America: Civil War!
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Which Civil War Character Are You?

10/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
Everyone has seen the latest Marvel offering. Except me, I don't really go to the cinema. Too many people. Either way, here it is just for you. The FoulENT quiz to find out which Civil War character that most describes your personality!
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Plenty Of Catfish: Genital Farm

9/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​Listen up you mother fuckers. The original and best series on Foul Ent is back to kick you in your teeth and have sex with your mothers. I don’t discriminate by looks, I will even sleep with the really good looking ones. When they realise that I’m the guy who wrote the first ever FoulENT article they will have my balls in their face before they realise that just one of my testes could choke a gorilla. Too late bitch. You started, so finish. Women are idiots.
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But wait, there’s one woman who isn’t. Maybe because she’s not a woman. She’s a man and her name is me, and this man-woman is delving into a world no woman is safe from. On this Plenty of Catfish we’re going after the big bad. The .jpegs that men love to send and women love to pretend not to love to receive. The subject of great debate amongst easy women and uptight prudes the world over.  What do they really think? Do women like them? Do women pretend not to like them so they don’t come across as slags? Does anyone care?

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