Blog Archives - Foul ENT

Friday the 12th: A Friday the 13th Special

13/3/2015

I always thought superstition was bullshit. Only a moron would believe that walking under a ladder will give you years of bad luck, or being glared at by a malevolent person will make your dick fall off. Today is Friday the 13th, and that means friends and co-workers alike will be making bullshit claims like ‘I’m not going outside today!’ or ‘bad things are going to happen today!’ and other such nonsensical garbage.

First of all, it doesn’t bother me what you believe. If you believe that a black cat walking infront of you means that you’ve been marked for death, then I hope it’s true. Also, you’re an idiot. But I’m not judging, this year’s idiots are next year’s Pizza Hut workers, and I like Pizza Hut. As Jeff Goldblum said; life finds a way. Regardless, there’s another reason why Friday the 13th bullshit irritates me: it reduces an awesome horror franchise to a bandwagon which gets jumped on because people think they know what they’re talking about.

Image Credit: unknown

Jason Vorhees, the antagonist in the Friday the 13th series, is a masked zombie who kills anyone who enters his camp. Not any camp, just his camp. So if you want to stay safe tonight, don’t go to the campsite where Jason kills people. Simple enough. However, I know the next time the 13th of the month happens to land on a Friday people are still going to bitch about bad luck regardless of my preaching, so instead of opposing them I’m going to join them. Below, I put forward some new superstitions that we should all start believing:

The Jary Files - The Science of Shagging

11/3/2015

I don't know if you are aware, but I'm a bit of a pseudo intellectual. I do a lot of skimming of high brow stuff, purely to make myself look clever for the women. Now, I know a lot of you think that science and sex are worlds apart, mainly because scienticians are all nerdy virgins, but trust me, I have developed a number of sciencical theories about sex and about why I get so much sex. If you're a sciencer you should probably stop reading now, I know you don't like shagging. But if you have a dick and want to use it, keep reading son!

Pop Culture Club - Big Bangs: Cinematic Universes (Part 1)

10/3/2015

The big box office draw right now is undoubtedly the concept of the ‘cinematic universe’. We have Marvel Studios and Warner Brothers/DC to thank for this trend, but the recent slews of movie news have been announcements that other entertainment companies are getting in on the shared world concept seen on TV and in cinemas.

This week’s PCC is more of an opinion piece about what ‘cinematic universe’ means (or should mean), how to effectively make one and will cover the Ghostbusters announcement.

Foul-To's; The Foul How-To Guides - #1

7/3/2015

There are way too many fucking stupid how to guides on the internet. It's bogged down with ridiculous stuff you will never use like how to fix a fence post or the perfect way to butter toast, so I thought I would remedy this shit. Here is the first ever useful how to guide ever.

The Death of Video Games? - #2 Destiny and My Abusive Relationship With Bungie

6/3/2015

When Destiny was revealed in 2013 at the PS4 reveal event, I was hyped. Then when we saw what it would play like at E3 later that year, I was even more hyped. Oh paper, it should have been one of the greatest games of this generation: An FPS with RPG elements, randomised loot like Borderlands, drop in/out online co-op gameplay with elements of shared online worlds, from the people who made the Halo games. It seemed like the logical conclusion to games like Borderlands, which I have a huge affinity for.

Image Credit: bleedingcool.net

After playing the alpha, I decided I would give the game a gamble on release day and picked up a copy. What followed was one of the strangest relationships I’ve ever had with a game, and the start of an abusive relationship between me and Bungie.

Will Destiny’s downfall contribute to the Death of Video Games? Let’s find out.

Foul Fantasy Devblog - #6 Pissing

5/3/2015

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For ISIS

One of the boldest decisions we made humour wise was to poke fun at a group of insane murderers. Regardless of what you think about anything, these guys are stone cold killers, so much so that one of their top of the class killers is the most famous John right now. More famous than John Legend and his surname is Legend! There is a joke about John du Pont in there as well somewhere. Either way, we decided to portray them as perpetrators of a ridiculous supermarket war. Once we had that idea, it was only one step to ripping on other ridiculous hate groups and the Crew Cut Clan were born. A group of bald men who hate cross gender trouser wearing and shorts who have to operate underground because of the civil tights movement.

Pop Culture Club - MCU Spider-Man's Star, Director and Story Options

4/3/2015

Whilst Avengers: Age of Ultron has been stealing the limelight this week, from posters to a new trailer, there seems to be something we have all forgotten; Robert Downey Jr revealed that tomorrow will hold a huge announcement from Marvel. If I had to take an educated guess, since he has to make an appearance in the upcoming Captain America: Civil War, I’m willing to be that we’re on the cusp of learning who will be playing Spider-Man when he returns to Marvel and heads into the MCU.

There have been a fair few rumours floating around as to who will be involved in the new version of the wall-crawling hero, but there are three things we all want to know: Who’s playing Peter, who’s directing the standalone Spidey film in 2017 and which story will they be adapting?

Today, we’ll run through a few possibilities.

Ask Jary - #3 Tinder, Teachers and Tray

3/3/2015

What's happening losers? You know what I realised earlier in the week? There is no such thing as too much shagging. I was shagging a bird last week and while I was doing it, all I could think was how much I couldn't wait to shag my missus later on. I know I've never mentioned her before, but my missus Tray is a game old bird. Well, she looks like a pheasant anyway.

Code Club with The Cunt - #3

1/3/2015

It's hard to understand why things don't work sometimes. For example, I tried integer division today without typecasting. Meaning, all of the calculations for my dungeon crawler battle system went completely tits up. I've still not figured out how to get it completely sorted yet. Which is why there is no download for it at the bottom of this page. Fingers crossed, by next week, I will have sorted it and moved on to making a boss and an end message and the game will be all yours to mock and deride.