I thought I'd write this blog to document my travels from awful coder to slightly less awful coder. As I am quite far down my path of coding, there will be no real sense of time involved here. It will be a mish mash of whatever comes into my head, most of it probably not about coding.
Pictured: Hardly discussed
Disagreevances returns with our fiercest episode yet! FINALLY Mike and Darren go toe-to-toe over Kick Ass 2! Joe goes obscure with his reality TV choice! And a touch final round decides the best obscure sport of all time! Listen to this madness below!
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I’m not sure how other game developers work, but we spent just as many months playing and replaying our game from scratch in order to make sure everything up to the current point made sense. Most of the time, it didn’t. Whether it was finding remnants of a story-arc which we later took out or being able to buy your Uncle’s pills despite having no money, we usually found something which needed hot-fixing. I’ll let The Cunt explain the technicalities of such things:
Here's a question for you...
Who the FUCK names a variable 'pants'!?
Since Al Capone murdered loads of people 86 years ago, we have annually celebrated this tragic event by exchanging romantic gifts for some reason. Nowhere is this nonsense more prevalent than on the minefield of vanity and one-upmanship that is social media. Valentine’s Day is one of those days when everyone feels the need to prove to their imaginary audience that their day is going great, regardless of whether they’re single, married, divorced, or whatever.
So here we go; here are the different types of statuses that you’ll be seeing throughout today.
I don't read books. I haven't even read a wank rag since I got the internet in 1999. So, when I saw the trailer last week for Fifty shades of Grey, it really curdled my spunk. It really fucked me off, because I had that idea years ago. Let's flash back a bit.
1997; A young Jary is sitting in his bedroom. He's just emptied his spuds onto a copy of 'Mammoth Melons Monthly'. He has an idea. “What if a ginger bloke managed to pull birds by being a massive rich twat?”. Admittedly, I had watched the best of Boris Becker earlier on Channel 4, but fuck off it was my idea. I always had my best ideas post wank; That is how I came up with 'WankApp'. Basically, if your phone detects you are using it one handed it stops you from phoning or texting anyone. That might sound like a stupid idea, but I always get the urge to text an ex half way through a wank, so this App stops any post ejaculation cancelling of plans.
Back to last week, and I became increasingly angry that this obviously large woman, E.L. James, had blatantly stolen my idea. So, to remedy this, I decided to finish writing my own erotic fiction. Slated to be released next year, here are some selected excerpts from 'Magnificent Shagger'!
On PopScorn this week, Mike and Darren give their two cents on Mark Millar and Matthew Vaughn's latest comic book action romp, Kingsman: The Secret Service!
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I don't know if you remember our previous site. It was wank to be fair, but I wrote some class blogs on there. One thing I am known for is helping cunts out. Especially when it comes to matters of the genitals. Fortunately my post sack is the opposite of my nutsack. Full! So, after the jump, let's get down to business!
It's time! You can download the pre-alpha demo of Foul Fantasy right here! Click the link or the picture below to download it right now!
Any and all feedback is appreciated as we take the first step into getting this game into your hands. Please, tweet us, Facebook us or email us your feedback. We really appreciate it.
Enjoy your first trip to Thepen Islands and your first taste of Foul Fantasy!
Everybody out there is right now collectively pinching themselves and checking their pulse. No, you’re not dreaming. In the words of Senator Ron Paul…
Spider-Man is making his way into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, in a move that pretty much now shadows any other studios attempt to rival the power that Marvel hold. At this point, DC and Warner Brothers could be releasing Batman V Superman tomorrow with a surprise appearance by The Joker and a free blowjob with every ticket, and it still wouldn't match the magnitude that this deal has. This, speaking from pretty much every facet of the comic book movie industry, is some real shit.
Today, we’re going to tell you everything you need to know about this deal, and how it will affect you, the movie-goer.
'Write what you know’ is a phrase thrown around almost exclusively by people who don’t know what they’re talking about. If we only wrote about what we knew, the world would be full of garbage autobiographies from people with nothing to say. While this phrase is universally acknowledged as dog shit, it can be true on the rarest of occasions. For example, Ian Fleming was kind of a bad ass, and Ernest Hemingway was a Rocky sequel away from becoming the hardest man to have ever lived.
Look at this man. Witness his manliness.
So in the vein of James Bond and, er... one of Ernest Hemingway’s characters, I'm going to write about what I know, and that’s murder. Now, we know that murder a subject not often discussed on comedy websites and for good reason. Horror films have been my genre of choice since I was a kid, and my spare time and university studies have led me to learn about, obsess over and even contact some of the most notorious murderers in the real world. The line where fictional horror meets reality is what we’ll be discussing today. Hit 'Read More' to dive into the mind of the murderer!
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